According to rahyafte (the missionaries and converts website): I am Michael, and I live in Ontario, Canada. I became a Muslim, and this is the story of my journey to Islam.
Dr. Fethullah Bistoni, translator
See the Persian text here
My life before Islam was a constant struggle. I didn’t know who I wanted to be, and painful memories of childhood always haunted me, making me very upset about losing a normal childhood. However, I always felt there must be a reason why these events happened to me, but I could never understand that reason. Life as an Adopted Child I didn’t grow up with my family; from the age of 6 or 7, I lived with other families as an adopted child.
The strangers who wanted to help me and provide a good and positive environment for me treated me with love, but they were not my real family. Nevertheless, I am always thankful that they opened their hearts and homes to me, and I will always love them.
I want to say that my family has always been a part of my life, and I have always had affection for them. But I was a burden on them, and they did what they thought was best for me. I accepted them out of gratitude, even though I never felt truly accepted as their child.
I also have painful experiences from my teenage years, always feeling alienated and abnormal. Looking back, I see that many of my inappropriate choices were due to the desire to feel accepted, like one of them. I never felt a true connection to any belief or religion because it didn’t resonate with my heart.
I think the easiest way to explain this is that I didn’t have spiritual and emotional health, so I lived life however I wanted. While rebelliousness arose in me, I never wanted to harm anyone. I also felt anger towards God for my challenging childhood, and these thoughts lingered in my mind for a long time; what would happen if I was punished? This made me reluctant to be associated with any religion. I attended parties, drank alcohol, and did whatever I felt was enjoyable. Seeking Answers to My Questions As I grew older, I felt that this was not the path to finding the purpose of my life and existence.
I tried to find answers to these questions but never found a satisfying one, and I thought I would never find an answer. I even visited a non-denominational church with one of my workplace supervisors, and though I am grateful for her kindness and guidance, I still didn’t feel like calling on God. For a long time, I was unable to find peace and answers to my questions until a friend emailed me an invitation to join a website. I thought it would be a fun way to meet new people, but unfortunately, I contacted some bad individuals.
My life was no longer in my control. Getting to Know Some Muslims and Their Support and Love While in this situation, I got to know some Muslims, and they became close friends of mine. We chatted and discussed our beliefs, cultures, and lives. I found their peace and undeniable belief in God fascinating. Despite all their hardships, they listened to me when I struggled with chronic depression.
I saw that while I had faced numerous challenges in my life, they were minimal compared to their daily struggles in Iraq and Palestine. They talked to me about their daily challenges and the experiences they had faced in the past. I genuinely admired and appreciated their love and support for me. I really loved them and wanted to bridge the gap between our different beliefs and convictions.
I wasn’t a religious person, but I believed in God. This is where my journey towards Islam began. I watched videos about Islam and talked with them about how Islam helped them in life. How they lived a peaceful life filled with courage and remained steadfast in their beliefs despite facing challenges due to their faith. Conducting Online Research About Islam I read online articles about Islam and tried to gather information from reliable sources. The more I learned about Islam and how Muslims lived their lives, the more I wanted to know. I deeply felt that this was the path for me, but I was worried about revealing my beliefs.
I was afraid, not of how people would judge me, as I knew I could accept it as something I had lived with my whole life, but I was afraid of failing. I’ll explain more about it for you. At that time, I had no intention of becoming a Muslim. I wanted to increase my knowledge about Islam. I truly respected Islam and its followers. Muslims, despite facing challenges, remained steadfast in their beliefs and followed Islam. There is a lot of bad advertising and misconceptions about Islam in the media, especially after September 11th.
I didn’t think I could get along with all of that. I didn’t want to accept Islam and then leave it after a while. Islam, the Religion of the Brave
As time passed, I realized that there is so much despair, pain, and suffering in the world, and I couldn’t sit idle. I wanted to do something, however small, to make the world a better place to live. After much contemplation, I came to the conclusion that I should become a Muslim. Now I am busy changing my life to live as a Muslim.
I want to get closer to my Creator and talk to Him. He knows the desire of my heart, a wish for a better world without injustice, crime, fear, and disgust. I hope one day I can guide others to Islam so that they, too, can feel the love of God and live a life filled with love and peace. Just as it happened to me.
The journey was tough, but the reward is beyond its difficulty. Even now, when I read about the events happening to people in the world, my heart breaks. But now, I feel less hopeless because I know that all actions will be accounted for on the Day of Judgment. A question I struggled with my whole life, and I thank God for giving me this certainty on behalf of the Lord.
