A father’s role in the life of a daughter is a major one. Indeed, the father is the first contact the daughter will have with the opposite sex. How a father treats his daughter will usually have a deep impact on the future interactions of the daughter with …
The Prophet of Islam had only one daughter named Fatima. Her mother is Khadija.
Hazrat Fatima (sa) was born five years before Bethat when Muhammad (S) was about 35 years old and her mother Khadija was about 50 years old. She has many other titles. Zahra (Lady of Light) and Sayyidatun Nisa al Alamin (Leader of the women of the worlds). The Date of her birth was 20th Jamad al Akhar.
After the death of her mother Khadija, she looked after her father the Prophet of Islam so devoutly that Muhammad (S) used to call her “Umme Abiha”, i.e. the mother her father. This was the hardest time for the family because in the same year Abu Talib who was the protector of Muhammad (S) from the animosity of the Quraish also died in the same year as Khadija. Muhammad (S) married Umme Salama, an old widow after the death of Khadija to have someone to look after the household chores.
When Umme Salama was requested to tutor the child Fatima (sa), the wise woman replied “How can I tutor one who is the personification of high virtues and purity. It is I who should learn from her.” Her childhood, therefore, was passed in a very chaste and modest environment.
It was then that she saw her revered father preaching Islam in the most hostile atmosphere. The hostility of the Quraish after the death of Abu Talib and Khadija was the strongest. Fatima saw and dressed the wounds sustained by her father due to the stones thrown on him by the non- believers who were ho to the preaching of Islam.
She might have heard and seen that certain wretched women hurled rubbish on her noble father. She might have learnt of the plans made to put an end to her father’s life. But from all these things Fatima was neither frightened nor disheartened. She comforted her father, tended to his wounds even at that tender age.
Fatima (sa)was the model of Prophet’s teaching among women just as ‘Ali (as) was the best embodiment of his instructions and manly qualities among men. They were the most suitable couple to be married. But ‘Ali (as) was too modest to speak about it.
After some persuasion from friends he finally went to see the Prophet in the mosque and proposed for marriage. Prophet told Fatima about it and asked her whether she would approve. After receiving her consent the marriage of Fatima (sa) and ‘Ali (as) took place in the simplest possible manner.
Hassan (as) was born in the 3rd year of Hijra, Husayn (as) was born in the 4th year of Hijra, Zainab was born in the 6th year of Hijra, Umme Kulthoom was born in the 7th year of Hijra. It was in the same house that the famous Verse of Purification (Surah 33. Verse 33) was revealed on the Holy Prophet and its narration by Fatima has become so famous that it is read in every Muslim house as Hadith-e-Kisa. The Reading of this Hadith brings blessings to the household. (Tafseer-e- Kabir by Al-Razi).
It was in the same house where every morning the Holy Prophet stood outside and said loudly “Assalamo Alaikum Ya Ahlebaitin Nubuwwah” Peace and blessings on the people of the Household of the Nabi. There was so much respect in the heart of the Holy Prophet for Fatima (sa) that whenever Fatima (sa) arrived in the mosque of the Prophet, the Holy Prophet stood up to respect her. This gesture was also to show the companions respect for women generally which was lacking in the Arabian society of the day.
Fatima (sa) was a symbol of womanhood in Islam. How a daughter, a wife and a mother should behave in their ordinary lives. She was devoted to her father, looked after him when he was in distress by the hands of the non-believers of Makka, she was the exemplary wife, queen of her household yet fair to her maid servant Fizza to divide household chores between herself and the maid servant, she was a devout wife and the most loving mother to her children.
Aisha Bint Talha quoted Aisha as saying:
“I have not seen anyone more similar to the Messenger in speech and dialogue than Fatima. Whenever she entered the house, he would greet her, kiss her hands and ask her to sit near him. Likewise, when he entered the house, she would greet him, kiss his hands and etc…..”
There is a very special bond between a father and a daughter and the most beautiful example of this is the relationship Prophet Muhammad sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam had with daughter Fatima (sa). Prophet Muhammad sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said:
“Fatima is part of me. Whatever pleases her, pleases me and whatever angers her, angers me.”
atima (sa) would care for the household and her father until she got married and even after her marriage she would often think of bringing food to her father. The prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam would also do the same. One time, Fatima (sa) brought some barley bread to her beloved father and his response was “This is the first food your father has eaten for three days.”
A father’s role in the life of a daughter is a major one. Indeed, the father is the first contact the daughter will have with the opposite sex. How a father treats his daughter will usually have a deep impact on the future interactions of the daughter with the opposite sex. A mother could spend all her time telling her daughter she’s beautiful but when a father treats her daughter well and shows her how precious she is to him, the daughter grows up with a good level of confidence that only a father can give. Daughters look to the father as an example, and will use their relationship with him as a basis for future relationships with men. For these reasons, fathers can make a big difference in building a daughter’s self-esteem as she matures into a young woman. Later on when the daughter is ready for marriage, fathers again play a major role. A local imam once said that just like women can perceive other women very well, men can also tell when other men are just playing games. The father in this case serves as a protective barrier between the daughter and other men and is able to help his daughter make a good decision when it comes to choosing a spouse.
Thus, we see how beneficial a father could be to a daughter and vice versa. Here are a couple of practical steps insha’Allah for father and daughter to develop a stronger bond based on the example of the Messenger sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam.
۱) Dedicate some time to spend with each other. Fathers should take some time and spend it with their daughter. Just paying attention and listening to them will go a long way. When the Sahabas could not find the messenger sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, they would often go to his daughter’s house because he was very often there. When Fatima got married, she moved next to her father sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam. As a child, Fatima would often accompany her father almost everywhere and was right by his side when the Quraish were abusing him. They spent much time together and he sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam knew her interests, her likes and dislikes and she knew his.
۲) Daughters should be loving and respectful towards their father. When a child is obedient and loving towards the parents, the parents automatically soften up towards the child and a stronger bond develops. Daughters should share their various interests with their father just like they would with their mothers. They should serve respectfully and lovingly their father as per the Sunna. Daughters could take example on Fatima (pbuh) and on the fact that she would serve and cater to her father’s needs so much so that she was called the mother of her father.
۳) Fathers should put their daughter’s happiness ahead of personal gain or social gain. The messenger sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam did not hesitate to let others know that his daughter’s happiness was his happiness and her sorrow and anger his sorrow and anger. He was so concerned about her happiness that when Fatimah (pbuh) got married, he sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam personally went to visit her the day after her wedding to check on her and give again his blessings to the newly-weds. He reassured her by telling her that he had married her to the dearest of his family to him stressing again that he had her best interest in mind.
Indeed in the Messenger of Allah you have a good example to follow for him who hopes in (the Meeting with) Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah abundantly. (Surah Al-Ahzab 33:21)
May Allah Subhannahu Wa TaAllah help all our fathers and daughters emulate as much as possible the example of the Messenger’s relationship sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam with his daughter Fatimah (pbuh). May Allah Subhannahu Wa TaAllah grant us children who will be the coolness of our eyes and daughters who will be our source of access to Heaven. Ameen.
DUA: Allah please accept this from us. You are All-Hearing and All-Knowing. You are The Most Forgiving.You are The Most Relenting and repeatedly Merciful. Allah grant us The Taufiq to read all the 5 prayers with sincerity.
(Taken from: To Be Earnest In Prayers By Amina Elahi)
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