According to Rahyafte(the missionaries and converts website):Prepared by: Samaneh Abedi / According to Rahyaftgan (Comprehensive Base of Preachers and New Muslims), converting to Islam was not an ordinary event for me. Most of the newly converted white Muslims I’ve met have liberal and very open backgrounds, while my upbringing was quite the opposite. Both my parents were members of the United States military, and I was raised in a very strict environment. My father was a staunch racist, and because of that, I was like him until about the age of twenty-four. I remember that as a child, I used to attack Arabs and Muslims, their religion, and their race, following my father’s lead. These were the conditions in which I grew up and formed my identity. My childhood was so tough that what has been said is just a glimpse of it.
My father was an alcoholic, and I grew up in constant fear of violence against myself, my mother, and my siblings. Given the natural circumstances, it seemed that I should look for a social group instead of a family life, which I couldn’t find at home. The problem was that, given the way I was raised, the people I was trying to associate with were the worst possible choice.
For several years, I was deeply involved in the racist skinhead movement and was well-known in the city where I grew up. However, my love for family and friends never let go of the idea that what I was doing was wrong. The situation at home became so difficult for me that I had to leave. I think it was from that moment that my future as a Muslim was set in motion, distancing myself from my father and his hatred, and experiencing the world and its people on my terms.
A few years later, it was very tough for me, and I continued on the path I had started. I used alcohol and drugs and became a very lawless person, as were all the people I had gone to instead of my family. I saw that everything my life was built upon was falling apart. It was during this time that I began to question all aspects of life, including religious beliefs. Everything in my life was thought-provoking and had to be reconsidered. My curiosity led me to collect a small library, which now contains over a thousand books.
At the same time, the Palestinian uprising intensified. My father, despite being a racist and anti-Jewish, always supported the establishment of a Jewish state. I think he despised Jews, but his hatred for Arabs was greater than for Jews, which is why he supported Israel. While I was rethinking all issues from my youth, I decided to delve deeper into the Middle East conflict. So, I started reading books about the history of the Middle East and the national politics of the region. In the process, I repeatedly realized that I had difficulty understanding the history and politics of this region because I had no understanding of Islam. Sometimes I would go to church, but I had no religious foundation.
My father hated Islam, and as a teenager, I felt the same way without knowing anything about Islam or what Muslims believed in. Obviously, until that time, I hadn’t even seen a Muslim in my life. So, I started studying Islam, its history, and its beliefs. These matters coincided with the widespread use of the internet, so I used books and online sources to help me understand the principles of Islam and its history.
At that time, I was living in Washington State, and I had no knowledge of the Muslim community there, so there was really no one I could talk to about it. After a short time, my wife’s job was transferred to England. So, everything changed. When I went to England, for a while, my interests turned in another direction. My presence in a new country with a long and rich history made me spend several years exploring the history of England and all of Europe. However, occasional events drew my attention back to the Middle East and its politics. At that time, I was in a country with a well-established Muslim community, although the city I was living in did not have such conditions.
I started reading the Quran. Since before, I had doubts about issues in the religion I had grown up with. I always had a problem with the belief that God could have children. My studies showed me that this belief had been taken from the beliefs of idolaters. Zeus, the god of gods, and many other gods of idolaters also had children. Odinists, the name of the followers of an ancient religion in Northern Europe, also believe in the Trinity (Odin, his son Thor, and his wife Freya). It is clear that this Christian innovation has no basis in monotheism and was part of the beliefs of past polytheists.
Another issue I always had a problem with was the concept of “original sin.” The belief that God can be so unjust as to hold me and anyone else responsible for the sins of people who died thousands of years before me and demand repentance from me for that was highly unfair. It always seemed to me that Christianity had no answer to these questions, and possible answers only reinforced these unfair conditions.
I also studied Judaism, but this religion, instead of answering my questions, raised more questions for me. The attitude of Judaism towards the prophets (peace be upon them all) was shameful. Jewish religious texts accuse these great men of committing the most horrific crimes, and I couldn’t accept that God had chosen such people to guide humanity. When Judaism contains such teachings, how can I look at it as a guide in life?
Clearly, Islam answered all my questions, including rejecting the falsehood of the Trinity and explaining the true role of Jesus (peace be upon him) as a prophet, not the Son of God. Islam respects all the prophets and mentions them with great honor. In Islam, I found the answers to my questions and the future of humanity.
The issue that was being discussed was the implementation of Islam in my life. My wife had similar backgrounds to mine, and for her, accommodating my interest in this matter wasn’t easy. I had to start making changes in my life, and this led to serious problems. Ultimately, I reached a point where I had to act on my new faith, and at the same time, I was no longer living with my wife, and we separated. Before leaving England, I met a young Lebanese man in London, and I bore witness to the two testimonies of faith in a mosque. With my separation from my wife, I had to leave England while I wished to stay there because there were opportunities to learn about Islam. Later on, I realized why God had ordained those events in my life.
I quickly found employment with the U.S. government in Alaska. However, in Alaska, the Muslim community was not prominent, and I was hundreds of miles away from cities with Muslim populations. Therefore, I continued studying Islam through the internet and other sources. Occasionally, I traveled to Washington, D.C. for work and made some Muslim friends there. At this time, I made
the decision to get married. I had been divorced for several years, and I knew that one of the main ways to practice my faith was through marriage, but due to being a new Muslim, I was a bit apprehensive.
One of my new friends introduced me to a woman. We talked a lot and eventually got married. From the beginning, we had many commonalities, all stemming from our faith in God. She was a pious woman and taught me a lot about Islam and the Arabic language, which was her mother tongue.
It’s astonishing how God guided me from disbelief and a home filled with hatred towards Himself. At first glance, it may seem that my childhood home was far from God, but in my belief, that’s not the case. God has always been present and watching over me, guiding me towards unpleasant events and dangers that shaped me into a human being and a Muslim. People may say that miracles don’t happen today, but I claim that my story proves them wrong.
